Fierce Femmes and Notorious Liars: A Dangerous Trans Girl's Confabulous Memoir

Eventually, the reputation of the Lipstick Lacerators causes the cisgender men of the city to retaliate against them. For the most part, the narrator and her fellow femmes have no trouble fending off any would-be attackers. The narrator notes that they are all strong fighters, each with particular skills. However, she also observes that none of the other trans women enjoy fighting as much as she does. One day they happen upon a park where a group of men is waiting for them, armed with bats and pool cues. The men outnumber them, but Valaria leads them into the fight with confidence. At first, the outcome does not look promising for the Lipstick Lacerators. The men seem to easily subdue them with their makeshift weapons, and the narrator is pinned to the ground. Just when it seems that they will lose the fight, Valaria lets out a war cry, and the narrator notices that the full moon itself seems to ask her to “Live.” With renewed strength, the femmes turn the tide against their attackers and send them away bloody and beaten. While several of the trans women do sustain injuries, they are victorious.

The narrator and the other Lipstick Lacerators are resting at an abandoned warehouse after the fight. Valaria has taken another of their members, Ivana, to receive medical attention from Alzena the Witch. While she is gone, the narrator asks about Valaria’s history. Rapunzelle explains that at one time Valaria was a well-known hairdresser named Darren. At night, she was a drag queen who went by the name Duchess Gloriana Cochrain or simply the Duchess. She was famous for having wigs in thousands of styles, and the rumor was that she never wore the same wig twice. She also had a boyfriend who was from the country, and unlike the men of the City, he was kind and sweet. One night, after a performance, the Duchess and her boyfriend left the venue through the back exit. The Duchess opted not to change out of drag. It is not clear exactly what happened next, but what is known is that the Duchess and her boyfriend were violently attacked, and her boyfriend was killed. After this incident, the Duchess was so devastated that she burned all her wigs and shaved her head, officially transforming into Valaria the Goddess of War, who seeks to bring justice to the Street of Miracles. 

This is another very short poem from the narrator’s notebook. It contains only 5 lines. In the poem, the narrator questions whether she still needs to rely on her pocketknife or has now found another form of protection.

Lucretia and Valaria slip away while the rest of the femmes are training. The narrator follows them unnoticed. She overhears the two having an intense discussion about the effect that the Lipstick Lacerators are having on the Street of Miracles. Lucretia is beginning to have doubts about their mission, since the authorities are responding by putting increased patrols on the Street and making it hard for the many sex workers to make a living. Valaria believes Lucretia is being cowardly and that they must continue to fight back in order to make a statement. Lucretia doesn’t want to participate in the group anymore. She also accuses Valaria of being attracted to the narrator, since they both love violence. Lucretia starts to walk away, and when Valaria tries to stop her, Lucretia slaps her across the face. The two admit that they used to care about each other deeply, despite the tension between them now. They share a passionate kiss, and the narrator experiences a feeling that might be jealousy while watching them.

The Lipstick Lacerators have been asked to visit the local university to be interviewed by a group of students and professors. The trans women refer to this group as the “Social Justice Warriors of the Ivory Tower” and they agree to meet them and to share their perspective on the issues facing the Street of Miracles. They hope the interview will improve the reputation of the Lipstick Lacerators. The two groups meet in an impressive library on the university campus, and the narrator feels a degree of regret that she did not follow the traditional college path. She wanders away from the rest of the group to examine the stacks and is joined by one of the students from the interview team. He introduces himself as Josh, and he and the narrator talk about their shared appreciation for books. He also reveals that he is a trans man. The narrator is immediately enamored, but suggests that they rejoin the rest of the group.

The Lipstick Lacerators’ campaign of vengeance comes to an end when one of their targets turns out to be an undercover police officer. They attempt to jump him in an alley and realize too late that it is a trap. He identifies himself as a police officer as the other officers jump from their hiding spaces to attempt to apprehend the vigilantes. The narrator and her group run off in various directions while gunshots ring out behind them. The narrator runs down the Street of Miracles to escape and notices that the road begins to shift and change shape. It seems to her that the Street itself is helping her get away. She eventually finds a small courtyard with an old fountain at the center. She hides when she hears voices approaching, and she spies Lucretia being dragged into the courtyard by the undercover cop. Lucretia tries to get away, but the police officer physically overpowers her. The officer throws her to the ground, drops his baton, and reaches for his gun. In response, the narrator leaps out of hiding and grabs his baton. She strikes him on the back of head, and he falls forward, his head slamming into the side of the stone fountain.

Realizing that she has just killed a police officer, the narrator panics. She tells Lucretia that she is terrified of going to jail, and Lucretia tells her to calm down. The two of them argue, and finally Lucretia tells the narrator that she won’t be going to jail. Lucretia is going to confess to the killing instead, claiming that she struck the police officer in self-defense. She tells the narrator that because she is pretty and white, they may go easy on her, though they are both doubtful of this assertion. The narrator then interrupts the story to explain that this is not in fact what happens. Instead, while the narrator is distraught, the statue at the center of the fountain begins to move. It is covered in vines, concealing its form, but the vines move, revealing the statue of a large, beautiful trans woman on a pedestal. The vines gather up the body of the police officer and move him toward the base of the fountain. The statue at the center opens its eyes and starts to cry, with water cascading down its form, filling up the fountain’s well. The police officer’s body is pulled into the overflowing well until it disappears. The narrator and Lucretia recognize that they were saved by the spirit of the First Femme—the first trans woman to be killed on the Street of Miracles.

In the wake of the police sting, there is a lot of tension and uncertainty on the Street of Miracles. The authorities are actively searching for the members of the Lipstick Lacerators, but the trans women on the Street will not reveal their identities. There are also heightened police patrols, making the women’s lives even more precarious. The narrator receives a message from Valaria, asking her to meet. Valaria tells the narrator that she is leaving the City and will no longer be able to lead the Lipstick Lacerators. She wants the narrator to lead them in her stead, but the narrator is not interested in continuing to respond to violence with violence. Valaria doesn’t believe her, and tries to pressure her to agree. She also kisses the narrator passionately and begins to undo her pants. The narrator eventually pushes Valaria away, loudly telling her “no” while punching her in the stomach. Valaria, impressed by the narrator’s show of force, turns to leave.

The narrator is haunted by the police officer that she killed, whose body was swallowed up by the fountain of the First Femme. She has dreams where the officer, in zombie form, pursues her through the Street of Miracles, healing as he gets closer to her. When he inevitably catches the narrator, he tells her that she is the monster, not him. They then kiss, and as they kiss, the narrator’s body transforms into the cop, while his body becomes hers. She wakes up from the dream screaming.

In a poem written in response to the previous one, the narrator confesses that she could never have completely abandoned her pocketknife. She acknowledges that they need one another and, more importantly, she deserves the knife. She wonders if her current trouble is in part a result of her attempt to give up her precious pocketknife.

The narrator writes another letter to her younger sister, in which she expresses sympathy for all the trouble that her sister has been in. She feels bad that her sister has been smoking and fighting with their mother, and she admits that the narrator still thinks of Charity as her baby sister. However, the narrator acknowledges that, in fact, Charity may not need her help and protection anymore, and that they both must learn to take care of themselves. The narrator then assures Charity that her own life in the City has been uneventful, and definitely not full of death and violence.