Heartless

Cath is more thrilled than she’d like to admit about this secret outing with Jest. Jest leads Cath to the Crossroads, an interdimensional system of portals represented as a hallway lined with doors on all sides. The two open one of the doors to a hat shop in a secluded forest meadow; Jest responds to Cath’s confusion with the assertion that the Hatter throws “the maddest tea parties this side of the Looking Glass” (151). Cath is hesitant about attending a “mad” tea party, but Jest assures her she won’t regret it.

Assorted creatures attend the tea party, including Haigha, a march hare whose name rhymes with “Mayor”; a Dormouse; a Turtle; and a Lion in a hat decorated with miniature carousel ponies. But none compares to the Hatter himself, Hatta, who is dressed exquisitely in a suit with a matching purple top hat. Hatta is close with Jest but acts condescending toward Cath for reasons she can’t fathom. Cath learns that the attendees of the tea party are expected to give “performances”; Jest recites a nursery rhyme and dissolves into a cloud of bats, leaving Cath alone with Hatta. Hatta offers Cath a riddle: “When pleased, I beat like a drum. When sad, I break like glass. Once stolen, I can never be taken back. What am I?” Cath’s answer: a heart. However, she argues, the final line should be “once given, I can never be taken back”; Hatta counters only that hearts are not given willingly. Jest reappears after Cath recites the final lines of his nursery rhyme.

Hatta insists Cath must perform for them next. He invites her to don a hat from the array hanging on the wall; according to Hatta, it will help Cath find her confidence. Hatta suggests a red hat for her, but Cath chooses a white bonnet with a black ribbon instead. Hatta says it is a “hat for making unconventional decisions” (165). Cath first tries to tap into her father’s renowned storytelling skills, but she realizes halfway through that she has macarons in her pocket and distributes those instead as her “performance.” Cath’s macarons are highly praised and even win her Hatta’s respect. Suddenly, the hat shop is rocked by a tremendous blow; the Jabberwock has attacked.

Hatta, Haigha, Jest, and Raven distract the beast while Cath escapes with the other party guests. The Turtle freezes in fear and won’t move, despite everyone’s urgings; Cath, remembering that her chosen hat inspires unconventional decisions, jabs the Turtle with a large stick, shaking him out of his stupor. The Turtle escapes into the forest, but now the Jabberwock advances on Cath; the Lion throws himself in front of Cath and is carried off by the Jabberwock.

Jest escorts Cath home. He apologizes for placing Cath in danger, but Cath stops him and says that she enjoyed the tea party in spite of the attack. Jest praises her baking skills and comments on how beautiful she is when she talks about what she’s passionate about. Jest also reveals that he and Raven are Rooks—protectors of the White Queen from the land of Chess, where the Red and White Queendoms reside in perpetual conflict with one another. Jest and Raven are on a top-secret mission for the White Queen, as are Hatta and Haigha. Cath is shocked and also disappointed by this revelation, because it means Jest will return to Chess after his mission is complete. Jest tells her that won’t be necessary if he has a reason to stay. Cath wants desperately to be that reason, but she grows depressed when she remembers her courtship with the King. Cath is determined to end her relationship with Jest, knowing it can’t continue; however, she and Jest plan to meet at her family’s upcoming Turtle Days Festival, despite the King’s anticipated attendance.

Mary Ann catches Cath sneaking back into her room, and Cath confesses everything to her friend. After Cath finishes, Mary Ann says sadly that she can tell Cath really likes Jest, because Cath talks about him the same way she would about a confection she’s pleased with. However, Mary Ann warns Cath that Cath doesn’t really know Jest—it’s possible he only wants Cath for her wealth or position. Cath is reluctant to believe this, but doubts intrude upon her anyway; nevertheless, it strengthens Cath’s resolve to learn more about Jest.

Cath must endure the King’s numerous love letters, all full of “overwrought prose” (198) and lame similes, which increase Cath’s disgust, guilt, and apprehension toward their courtship; compounding this is the fact that Cath can tell by the handwriting that Jest was the one to whom the letters were dictated. Cheshire appears, having heard from Haigha about Cath’s attendance at the tea party the other night. Cath begs Cheshire not to tell anyone else, as the knowledge of her relationship with Jest could damage her relationships with her parents and the King, as well as her reputation in high society. Cheshire questions her about the recent Jabberwock attack; Cath, who is still suffering greatly for the Lion’s loss, is frustrated by the King’s continued inaction against the Jabberwock. Cheshire shares that a new baking contest will be held at the Turtle Days Festival, with a monetary grand prize in an amount sufficient for Cath to open her bakery; the only catch is that the King is one of the judges.

Cath plans to make a spiced pumpkin cake for the contest, requiring her and Mary Ann to purchase a pumpkin from Peter Peter. When Cath and Mary Ann arrive at Peter’s pumpkin patch, which has been decimated in many places, they find Peter attending to a house-sized pumpkin, crafted to resemble a cage. Peter is hostile to the girls and snarls at them to get off his land. In the middle of the argument, Cath and Mary Ann hear an animal-like scratching sound coming from inside the large pumpkin. Cowed by Peter’s unprovoked ire, Cath and Mary Ann retreat. On the way out, Cath finds a lone sugar pie pumpkin in one of the destroyed fields and harvests it herself. As the girls prepare to leave, Cath feels a sudden pain beneath her foot. When she looks down, she finds a miniature carousel pony, exactly like the ones adorning the hat the Lion was wearing when he was taken by the Jabberwock.

The Turtle Days Festival arrives. Cath stumbles upon Hatta’s shop on the festival grounds; he gifts her a hat made especially for her, red and pink in color and styled after Cath’s macarons from the tea party. Cath learns that Hatta’s father was Hearts’s previous hatter, and that he suffered mental illness and died by suicide when Hatta was just a boy. According to Hatta, “madness” runs in his family, but he’s found the secret to escaping it himself. Hatta instructs Cath to wear her macaron hat during the dancing and the baking contest, slyly hinting that it will increase Cath’s “charisma.”

Cath speaks briefly with Jest, who notices her hat and is concerned about what it can do; Jest warns Cath that Hatta’s hats are not ordinary ones. Cath sees the King and presses him on what he’s doing about the Jabberwock attacks, but the King is clearly uncomfortable and avoids her questions, appearing ashamed. As the daughter of the Marquess, Cath must commence the festival’s customary lobster quadrille dancing; thus, the selection of her dance partner is highly scrutinized. Cath is torn between choosing the King or Jest as her partner, but ultimately she must choose the King. As she unhappily dances with the King, Cath realizes she has undeniably fallen in love with Jest.

Cath emerges from the lobster quadrille feeling panicked by her revelation. Jest notices and steals her away to a white crystal cave, where the two have a moment of privacy. They discuss their situation; Jest tells Cath that the King has good intentions, and that he’d be happy for her if she were to wed the King. Cath desperately wants to marry Jest, but they both know that the difference in their social classes bars this possibility. Cath’s parents would never accept it, and Cath doesn’t want to disappoint them—both by not marrying the King and by courting someone of a lower class. As much as Cath doesn’t want to admit it to herself, she realizes that Jest’s social rank matters to her too.

The judging for the baking contest commences; among the adjudicators are the Turtle and the King. Owing to his affection for her, the King pronounces Cath the winner before any of the other adjudicators can even comment on her cake. To Cath’s mortification, the King also announces that Cath will one day be his bride. Suddenly, someone screams.

The Turtle undergoes a gruesome transformation into the Mock Turtle: he now has a calf’s head, hooves, and tail. The Turtle is devastated, and everyone else is horrified at his alteration. Cath realizes that of the judges, only the Turtle took a bite of her cake. From the crowd, Cath notices Peter Peter staring at her with vicious loathing. The judging of the contest is suspended. Back at home, Cath resolves that in the absence of the prize winnings from the contest, she must finally ask her parents for their support in opening her bakery.

The Marquess and Marchioness both reject Cath’s bakery dreams out of hand. To Cath’s shock, her father agrees with her mother; Cath had at least hoped for some sympathy from him. Cath returns to her room, defeated, frustrated, and angry. She remembers Hatta’s magical hats, and she pulls out some parchment to write a proposal to him.