It Starts with Us

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• Overall, what were your impressions of the book and its depiction of co-parenting with a volatile ex-partner?
• What did you enjoy most about the character of Lily Bloom? What aspects or traits did you enjoy least?
• Compare this book to the prequel, It Ends With Us. Do you find the narrative arc between the novels effective?

2. Personal Reflection and Connection

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• The interactions between Lily and Ryle are often emotionally charged as he experiences feelings of intense anger. How did these scenes make you feel?
• Can you envision yourself co-parenting with an ex-partner who was abusive? Lily sets boundaries; what would your boundaries be?
• Is the relationship between Lily and Atlas the ideal romantic relationship? If so, what qualities make it so effective? From your perspective, what, if anything, is it lacking?
• Do you have a passion or career goal similar to Lily’s? If so, what feelings of fulfillment does it bring you? If not, craft your ideal career and discuss why it matters to you. 
• One of the book’s major themes is healing. What are some of the ways that you heal and provide yourself with self-care? 

3. Societal and Cultural Context

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

• This novel’s prequel, It Ends With Us, was made into a film that faced controversy due to its portrayal of domestic violence, with some believing that publicity for the film did not explicitly convey this element. What is the importance of content warnings in the context of film and media?
• While it is perhaps unsafe to actively co-parent with a formerly abusive ex-partner, it is also likely a reality for many people. Take a look at some statistics on domestic violence following divorce or separation and discuss how these facts intersect with the novel. 

4. Literary Analysis

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

• Atlas’s character undergoes a transformation by interacting with people from his past. How does this experience allow for Atlas’s character growth?
• How are Atlas’s restaurant and Lily’s floral shop symbols of their personal growth? What do these spaces represent for each character?
• What role does forgiveness play in the novel? How does Lily’s ability or inability to forgive Ryle influence her healing process?
• How does the busy city backdrop of Boston enhance the novel’s tone or reflect key themes of the novel, such as the pace of life for the characters?

5. Creative Engagement

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

• Create a playlist for Lily when she is interacting with Ryle that then grows into songs chosen for Lily’s interactions with Atlas. How does this playlist reflect all three characters?
• If you were to help adapt It Starts With Us into a film, who would you cast as Lily, Ryle, and Atlas? Think beyond the actors chosen in the prequel. 

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