Left Neglected

Sarah’s dreams represent her mental and emotional state, as her subconscious deals with her stress level and unresolved trauma from her past. Each of the chapters that come before Sarah’s accident begins with a description of her dream the previous night. She describes these dreams as hints from her subconscious that she could not continue with the pace of her life, as messages from God that she failed to heed.

Sarah dreams of overwhelming tasks, like multitasking, and the needs of her job and her children. She saves Charlie by sacrificing her own life. She gives up pieces of her body to her children, which is a tremendous metaphor for surrendering her own needs for the needs of her family. An unknown threat chases her, and she’s forced into a situation from which she cannot escape.

Sarah also dreams of a realistic reenactment of the primary tragedy of her life, the drowning death of her brother. Prior to her own accident, Sarah’s relationship with her mother divides into “before Nate died” and “after Nate died,” as her mother completely withdrew from Sarah emotionally and physically due to the trauma caused by losing her son. In Sarah’s dream, she feels guilt about her own role in Nate’s death. She takes water wings away from him, then after he drowns, "dream” Sarah looks down at her feet, where the floatation devices lay unused. It is not clear from her recollection whether this actually happened or whether it is an expression of Sarah’s guilt over having survived while Nate died, but as the rest of the dream seems to be a realistic representation of what actually occurred, it is possible that Sarah does feel that she was partially to blame for her brother’s accidental drowning. Her unresolved feelings come out in this dream.

At the end of the novel, Sarah’s dream is completely different from her earlier dreams, symbolizing the many changes that had taken place in her life. This dream is free of fear, anxiety, and familial conflict. She dreams of her mother taking her place alongside her father and Nate as they ascend towards heaven. Sarah dreams of herself with Bob and their children, happy and content in their new life together.

Sarah has a platinum Cartier watch, set with diamonds. As she struggles with learning to dress herself at the rehabilitation center, trying to fasten the watch, with its intricate clasp, to her left wrist is an arduous daily task.

Heidi has recommended that Sarah give up her usual zippered pants and buttoned shirts and replace them with elastic waisted pants and pullovers. Sarah balks, as it seems to be admitting defeat by giving up her old wardrobe, but Heidi convinces her of the utility of the change. In the spirit of letting go of things that symbolize her old life, Sarah offers to trade her watch for Heidi’s plastic one, which attaches around the wrist easily. Giving up her watch symbolizes Sarah’s acceptance that her recovery will not be immediate and easy.

Even after Sarah makes great progress in her recovery, she does not ask Heidi to trade watches back. Sarah even admires the watch on Heidi’s wrist when they meet for their wine date. This symbolizes Sarah’s acknowledgment that her life has evolved into a much less showy, pretentious journey, one that she appreciates and cherishes. She no longer needs the trappings of her old life, the designer suits and shoes, the house big enough to have a live-in nanny. Giving away her watch permanently symbolizes Sarah’s desire to flee the consumerism of her affluent suburban life, to a simpler, less complicated life in rural Vermont.

In the gym at Baldwin, Sarah often looks at a poster on the wall. It depicts a fist with the word “Attitude” written below, which to Sarah symbolizes power, strength, and determination. She strives to fight her way back to her old life. She thinks that with the proper positive attitude and her typical hard work, she can completely overcome the limitations that are the result of her Left Neglect. Sarah raises a fist in defiant solidarity as she looks at the poster, ready to fight the symptoms of her disability.

When Sarah leaves Baldwin, she realizes that she has been “missing” the left half of the poster. Seen in its totality, the poster reveals itself to be a picture of two hands grasped together, with the word “Gratitude.” The difficulty of her recovery humbles Sarah, and she realizes now that her accomplishments are due to the help of others. The poster’s image and message symbolize Sarah’s newfound appreciation for how much she needs the people in her life and her gratitude towards those who have helped her.