Signal Fires

Signal Fires is a novel that explores trauma and its lasting impact. Teenage Sarah and Theo cause a car accident that kills another teenager, Theo’s crush Misty. Though Theo was the one driving the car at the time, Sarah believes she has culpability in Misty’s death, which is partly why she claims she was the one driving. Sarah blames herself for encouraging Theo to take risks, inviting Misty on their drive, and drinking too much, which forced Theo to drive the car as an inexperienced driver. She carries the guilt of Misty’s death for a long time. Neither she nor Theo are subjected to criminal consequences; neighbors and peers know the Wilfs and understand that Misty’s death was an accident. Sarah had long been a favorite in town for being a star athlete and student. However, because Sarah is never held accountable by her society, she never finds closure. The Wilfs themselves don’t speak of the accident, trapping Sara and Theo in unresolved guilt. Ben and Mimi are relieved that their children are alive, but know they are responsible for Misty’s death. But rather than confront this reality and speak about the accident openly, the Wilfs shut down. This leads to Sarah struggling with drinking and infidelity. Although Sarah becomes a successful film producer, she uses drinking and infidelity to punish herself, to quell her unresolved guilt. However, when she finally opens up about Misty at an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting, it allows her to honor Misty’s life and take accountability for Misty’s death.

Theo is similarly traumatized by Misty’s death. This trauma is exacerbated by other realities, such as his low self-esteem and poor mental health. Theo was the driver at the time of the car accident, so he is directly responsible for Misty’s death. He had a crush on Misty, and her death made him wary of dating women as an adult. He believes he doesn’t deserve to be happy with a woman, that he doesn’t deserve love. This trauma, like Sarah’s, is heightened by the fact that the Wilfs don’t discuss the accident, which denies the siblings the chance to develop appropriate coping mechanisms. Theo turns inwards and struggles with depression, weight gain, and a fear of intimacy for years. He already struggled with depression and weight gain as a teenager, but these issues remain largely unresolved as an adult—that is, until Theo finds comfort in his restaurants and nieces. As for his fear of intimacy, it doesn’t just apply to women, but his family. In his struggle with shame, he leaves his family for years, barely keeping in touch. Eventually, as Theo grows up, he learns how to believe in himself more. However, Theo will always struggle with trauma because he was too young to deal with the accident on his own.

While trauma is lasting, it can lead to meaningful connections and opportunities. Waldo is traumatized by his past, as he was raised by a father who punished him for being himself. Still, he believed in himself. Despite Shenkman becoming a kinder person with time, Waldo is unwilling to mend their relationship—nor is he obligated to. Alice’s death does little to bring father and son together, as Waldo becomes even more enclosed in his own interests. However, Waldo does become closer to Ben. Waldo appreciates Ben’s empathy, embracing their connection even if it’s not biological, even if it’s long-distance, and even if it’s based on his childhood reliance on Ben as a friendly neighbor. Waldo’s traumatic relationship with Shenkman opens him up to a more meaningful relationship with Ben. Waldo is also traumatized by Mimi’s death. At only 10 years old, Waldo witnesses the reality of mortality—which should be terrifying, but it teaches the precocious boy that death is simply a moment in one’s life, that the deceased don’t completely disappear. Waldo feels Mimi’s energy even after her death, which allows him to understand mortality as infinite, not the final chapter in a linear life. This experience contributes to Waldo’s understanding of metaphysics; the trauma of Mimi’s death teaches him something valuable. Moreover, both Mimi and Ben had a hand in Waldo’s most profound trauma—the trauma of his birth. Ben helped usher Waldo into the world, connecting Ben and Waldo on a subconscious level.