Symptoms of Being Human

The next day, Riley has an emergency appointment with Doctor Ann. Before going into the office, Riley’s mother stops them and acknowledges how stressful the obligations of being a congressman’s child are for Riley, saying that they don’t have to attend the big upcoming fundraiser if they don’t want to. Riley’s mother lets them know that they can tell her whatever has been going on, and Riley promises to do so when “I know what to say” (234).

During the appointment, Riley tells Doctor Ann about the national attention their blog has been getting, along with the threatening messages. Doctor Ann asks what Riley is going to do about their situation, saying that they’re like a shaken-up soda bottle, and that “if you don’t take the cap all the way off and deal with the mess, that bottle is going to explode” (237). Riley should talk to their parents about what they’re going through and come out to them. Together, Doctor Ann and Riley plan for Riley to write out what they’re going to say ahead of time, choose a calm time to talk to their parents, and have the conversation on neutral ground where Riley will feel safe. Riley asks Doctor Ann how they’ll know if it’s the right time, and she responds, “You’ll know” (239).

With the help of an alteration in Riley’s medication, as well as support from Bec and Solo, Riley copes with the approach of Tuesday’s big fundraising dinner as best as they can. There has been no word from the anonymous sender, and it comforts Riley to know that there are dozens of Riley Cavanaughs out there, so the message isn’t necessarily correctly targeted—nothing from the messages has explicitly tied the sender to someone at Park Hills High.

After lunch, Riley discovers that their locker has been broken into. All of their possessions are covered in ketchup and honey, and on the inside of their locker, someone has pasted the words “POOR LITTLE RILEY” (242), directly linking the vandalism to the anonymous sender and confirming that they are someone from school.

While getting ready for the dinner, Riley’s father brings them their medication, thanking them for attending despite how difficult it is for Riley. Riley decides they’re ready to come out, and plans to do so after the event. Aside from a small trip on the way up to the stage, Riley is able to fight their anxiety and make it through the dinner. As the Cavanaughs are leaving the venue, they are bombarded by reporters asking the family how they are handling the revelation of Riley’s gender identity.

At home, a mob of reporters waits on the Cavanaugh’s front lawn, only leaving when confronted by Elias. Inside, Riley’s father demands to know what they were talking about. Riley finally comes out to their parents as gender fluid. Riley’s parents are confused, at first thinking Riley is talking about their sexuality. After Riley explains that it has to do with gender, their mother expresses confusion over how the media found out before she and Riley’s father did.

Riley tells her parents about their blog, which angers their father, who says that people would find any opportunity to “dig up dirt” on his family. Riley tries to apologize, but their father exclaiming that they’re “not even through dealing with [the] mess” of Riley’s stay at Pineview, and now Riley has “broadcast your bisexual phase” (254) online. Riley, enraged, tells him how much they’ve sacrificed for his campaign, and that they were outed. Riley grabs the keys to their mother’s minivan and leaves.

In a panic, Riley goes looking for Bec, first checking Bullet Hole, then Bec’s house, but leaves when there is no sign of Bec. Someone in a green pickup truck calls out to Riley. Overcome with hopelessness, Riley thinks of Andie Gingham, understanding “why she wanted to jump” (258). Riley ends up at the abandoned building where Bec took them to see a movie, but the ladder to the fire escape has been chained up to prevent anyone from climbing it. Riley attempts to reach the ladder by jumping from the hood of the minivan, but slips and blacks out when their head hits the windshield.

When Riley comes to consciousness, they see the green pickup truck from Bec’s driveway. Riley is terrified when they realize that the truck belongs to Jim Vickers, who followed them to the building with his friends Cole and Grady. Riley tries to escape, but is pinned down by the group as Vickers sexually assaults Riley. The assault is interrupted by the arrival of Solo and Bec. Vickers and his friends flee.