The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman

Tristram describes his mother’s desire to watch Toby pursue his romantic interest in Widow Wadman. Toby has been prepared by Trim, who has done his best to make Toby’s old uniform look presentable. Tristram assures the audience that Toby’s good character outshines his scruffy uniform. Toby and Trim launch their carefully crafted plan of attack, but once they reach her house, Trim distracts them both with a long anecdote about his brother. He tells the story of how his brother met a widow in Lisbon. She was a Jewish sausage maker who had been arrested by the Inquisition. As the story continues, Walter and Elizabeth become frustrated by the delay. Tristram reviews what he has written and worries about striking the right balance between “wisdom and folly” (504). He spends several chapters discussing the nature of literature, including his own writing, and pushes back against any accusations of indecency. He proves that his writing is clean by referencing his own laundry bills. Just as he is about to launch into another “Digression,” he realizes that he has already done so. He switches his attention back to Toby.

Widow Wadman and Bridget are waiting inside her house. They are expecting to hear a knock on the door. Outside, Trim is about to lift the knocker. Toby has a sudden pang of nerves, but before he can tell Trim to stop, Trim lifts the knocker and lets it fall. Bridget opens the door and ushers the men inside. Tristram’s narration is replaced by two blank pages where Chapters 23 and 24 should be. When the narration begins again, Toby is making a series of sexually suggestive remarks. He invites Widow Wadman to “lay [her] finger upon the place” where he was wounded (514).

Tristram cites the work of Slawkenbergius, who wrote about how women choose their partners. He mentions that Widow Wadman has had her own doubts about whether Toby is a suitable husband. Tristram assures the audience that Toby is physically suitable, despite his war wound. In the meantime, Bridget has been tasked by her employer to discover the extent and implications of Toby’s wound. She consults with Trim, trying to extract this information.

Just as he is about to arrive at the “choicest morsel” of the story, Tristram stops himself. He is abruptly concerned about his literary skills and his suitability as a narrator. He calls for aid from Miguel de Cervantes, the author of Don Quixote, which reminds him of the time he spent touring through France and Italy. He is upset that no one will ever quite understand why he needed to leave blank pages, and he reiterates his favorite mantra, “[L]et people tell their stories their own way” (524). Tristram describes what happened during the blank pages. Toby tells Widow Wadman that he loves her. She pauses awkwardly for a moment and then raises the matter of children. Toby is confused as to why she would ask this. In his confusion, he asks her to marry him. Returning to the present moment, Tristram describes the way Widow Wadman grills Toby about the implications of his wound. He is impressed by the humanity of her questions. She asks him to tell her exactly where he was injured. Toby sends for a map of the battlefield and, taking her finger, points out the exact location.

Trim picks up the map and shows it to Bridget, launching into a long explanation of his own role in the battle. Bridget cuts him short. She asks him directly whether Toby’s wound has made him impotent. Trim says that it has not. Following this, he convinces Bridget of his own romantic intentions toward her. Having achieved relative success in their plan, Toby and Trim continue to court Widow Wadman and Bridget over successive afternoons. Eventually, Trim reveals to Toby the purpose behind Widow Wadman’s initial hesitation. Toby becomes disillusioned with the idea of love. When rumors spread about how badly Toby misunderstood Widow Wadman, people in the community laugh at him. Walter is furious. He defends his brother. Tristram ends the novel by telling a story about a cock and bull. Obadiah enters a room to complain to Walter that his prized bull is impotent. Yorick jokes that this is “[a] COCK and a BULL” story and one of the best he has ever heard (539).