The Space Between Us

Bhima wakes up in her small hut at dawn. She studies the sleeping silhouette of her granddaughter, Maya, and feels a mix of maternal love and rage toward the young girl who is pregnant. Realizing she is running late, Bhima rushes out with a couple of copper pots to stand in line for water at the basti (slum) she resides in, stopping at the communal toilet on the way. As she takes in the squalor of the basti, she remembers the apartment in the chawl she once lived in with her husband, Gopal, and their two children—it had running water in the kitchen, and they only shared a bathroom with two other families. A chawl is a large building divided into many separate tenements, offering cheap, basic accommodation to laborers (“Chawl.” Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary).

The water line is long, but another woman has saved Bhima a spot. When Bhima returns to her hut, Maya is up and brewing tea. Bhima asks her what she will do all day, and when Maya says she will stay indoors, Bhima berates her for getting pregnant and dropping out of college. Maya begins crying, but Bhima’s anger and fear about Maya’s fate prevent her from consoling her granddaughter. Bhima rushes off to work at Sera Dubash’s house, knowing Sera will want to know what happened the previous day.

Sera watches the clock, irritated by Bhima’s lateness. Without Bhima, Sera must pack lunch for her son-in-law, Viraf, and pregnant daughter, Dinaz. Dinaz’s pregnancy reminds Sera of Maya’s condition, which came as a surprise. She pities Bhima, who already has enough woes.

Viraf and Dinaz enter the kitchen bantering with each other, as Sera prepares their omelets. She watches the couple happily, remembering how they had some trouble between them a while ago that seems to have died down now. Sera had wanted to say something then, but she had promised herself that she would never intervene in their marriage when the children moved in with her after her husband, Feroz, died. She knows how an interfering mother-in-law can make life difficult from her own experiences with Banu, Feroz’s mother.

Bhima finally arrives, apologizing for her lateness. Bhima’s expression tells Sera that Bhima’s mission the previous day was a failure. Overhearing Viraf and Dinaz’s conversation, Bhima comments on how Viraf’s presence brightens up the house. Sera knows Bhima is comparing the situation to when Feroz was alive. Bhima is the only one who knows that Feroz used to beat Sera.

As Bhima washes the dishes, Viraf comments that he ought to buy a dishwasher for the house. Sera immediately shoots him down, asserting nothing can clean the dishes as well as Bhima can. Bhima feels a flash of anger that Sera would refuse something that would make Bhima’s life easier. Anger is replaced with guilt as Bhima thinks of everything Sera has done for her.

Bhima remembers her trip to Maya’s college the previous day, which she is waiting to discuss with Sera once Viraf and Dinaz have left. When Bhima first confided in Sera about Maya’s condition, Sera immediately offered to arrange an abortion. Bhima hesitated, hoping the father would come forward and marry Maya, giving her a respectable life.

After endless inquiry, Maya had finally named one of her classmates, Ashok Malhotra, as the father. Bhima decided to visit the college and talk to him, and Sera gave her the cab fare for the trip. Bhima was treated rudely by the college staff, in sharp contrast to the treatment Sera received when she visited to secure Maya’s admission. Bhima was eventually directed to Ashok in the cafeteria.

Sera and Bhima sip tea in the living room, Sera on a chair with her mug and Bhima on her haunches, using a stainless steel cup kept aside for her. Sera recalls Dinaz pointing out the injustice of Bhima not being allowed on the furniture despite Sera’s criticisms of the Hindu caste system. Sera justified it as concern over Bhima’s cleanliness, despite Sera knowing how well Bhima maintains her personal hygiene. Sera also blamed it on Feroz, who would have been livid if Bhima used the furniture. After his death, Sera has toyed with the idea of inviting Bhima to join her at the table. However, she knows the neighbors will be scandalized if they find out, and Sera herself is repulsed by the thought.

Bhima recounts how she confronted Ashok. When she revealed Maya’s pregnancy, he was outraged to learn Maya named him as the father. He called Maya terrible names, declaring himself a religious man who believes in “purity and chastity before marriage” (35). Ashok’s contempt and anger convinced Bhima of his innocence and she realized Maya lied to her. She returns home after telling Sera what happened, angry with Maya for the deception and for throwing away her future. Bhima realizes she has had a hand in destroying Maya’s life by revealing Maya’s condition to her college mates.

Bhima’s guilt makes her turn on Maya the moment she enters the house, beating her granddaughter and berating her for lying. Maya becomes hysterical when she learns Bhima confronted Ashok; she asserts she had no choice but to lie. Maya’s grief leads Bhima to stop. Conflicting emotions make Bhima want to save and destroy her granddaughter all at once. Bhima declares that she will talk to Sera the next day about a doctor for the abortion.

Sera leaves the house, wondering if it is safe to leave Bhima there alone. Sera recalls that Bhima did not look this bad even when Gopal left and took with him “the most precious thing in Bhima’s life,” their son (43). Sera remembers Maya as the seven-year-old orphan girl Bhima brought back from Delhi a decade ago. Early on, Sera realized the girl was intelligent and decided to take responsibility for her education.

Sera arrives at her mother-in-law’s house. Banu is asleep, and Sera shudders as she remembers the time she lived with Banu when Sera was newly married. The day nurse, Edna, leaves to make tea, and Sera is uneasy being left alone with Banu. She remembers how Banu always knew when there was trouble between Feroz and Sera, despite how discreet Sera would be. When Sera brought it up to Feroz, he had dismissed her thoughts and deemed her silly.

Observing the old woman fills Sera with hatred, and she is unable to forgive Banu. She spots a painting of her father-in-law, Farokh “Freddy” Dubash, and fondly remembers the first time they met. He was her savior. Sera wonders why he had to die before Banu. Banu groans in her sleep. Before Edna reenters the room, Sera bends over Banu and pinches her cheek hard. She knows Banu won’t feel it on account of her paralysis, but it is her only way of vindicating the young, hopeful girl she once was. Sera feels that version of her died in this house. As she leaves, Sera gives Edna some money to buy her children some chocolates.

On the way home, Bhima runs into a neighbor, who brings up Maya’s condition; his daughter, who had gone over to borrow sugar, was shooed away by Maya, who had been throwing up in a corner. He hints that he knows Maya is pregnant, and Bhima buys his silence by lending him half a cup of sugar.

Bhima enters the hut angry. She softens when she sees Maya is not feeling well and cooks her dinner. Maya breaks down and confesses she doesn’t leave the house all day; she feels like a prisoner but knows she is imprisoned by her own shame. After dinner, Bhima asserts that Maya must have an abortion before more people notice. Maya agrees on the sole condition that Sera be the one to accompany her. Bhima is hurt, but when Maya points out she will be treated better with Sera beside her in the hospital, Bhima acquiesces. Bhima remembers how she had been treated when Gopal was ill and in hospital years ago.

Bhima lies awake at night, wondering how many more neighbors already know. She yearns for her old life in the chawl and remembers when Gopal courted her. He was the cousin of her best friend, Sujata, and Bhima had met him at Sujata’s wedding. For weeks after, Gopal waited for her at her bus stop, flirting with her even as she rebuffed his advances. Once she boarded the bus, he would catch hold of the window bars beside her seat and cycle alongside the bus until she got off, serenading her with Hindi film songs all the way. Gopal grew on her, so much so that one day when he was late to the stop, Bhima was filled with concern over his absence. She was flooded with relief when he reappeared, pedaling furiously behind the bus.

Eventually, Sujata and her new husband brought a marriage proposal to Bhima’s family, who were thrilled by Gopal’s steady factory job, respectable family, and proclamation that he wouldn’t take any dowry. They were married within a month. On their wedding night, Gopal promised Bhima that he would treat her like a queen. Thinking of this broken promise in the present, Bhima is unable to fall asleep. Maya stirs in her sleep, and Bhima is once again overcome by conflicting emotions toward her granddaughter. She is determined to get Maya an abortion, so that her “shame” doesn’t destroy both of them.

On Saturday morning, Bhima is late again, and Dinaz helps Sera with breakfast. Noticing Sera watch the clock, Dinaz chastises her mother, asserting it is alright if Bhima is late sometimes; at 65 years old, Bhima possibly needs her rest more than Sera does. Sera remembers how Dinaz switched to working in management on Feroz’s insistence but had initially wanted to go into social work.

Viraf walks in, complaining that all he hears about these days is Bhima. Dinaz observes that Bhima has been having troubles recently, and Viraf expresses that Maya must get an abortion. Sera bristles at the casual way in which he mentions this. Dinaz asks Viraf to inquire for a recommendation, as doctors in free government hospitals are not very good. Viraf agrees, insisting that they now charge the subject, which is casting a gloom over Dinaz’s pregnancy. As the couple holds hands, the intimacy and affection between them make Sera happy. She reflects on how their marriage is better than hers. She believes their happiness makes her time with Feroz worthwhile.

Sera remembers her first fight with her mother-in-law: Through Feroz, Banu communicated to Sera that she was to stay secluded and use different utensils for food during her period, in keeping with traditional Parsi beliefs. Sera protested, but Feroz told her to adjust, wanting the family to get along. The daughter of a scientist, Sera felt humiliated having her dinner separately that night. The next morning, after waving goodbye to Feroz at the balcony, she walked back to her room, crossing the living room where Banu is praying. Banu shrieked, accusing Sera of polluting the place. The commotion brought Freddy out of his room, who chastised Banu for her superstitious thinking. Banu accused Sera of causing friction between her and Freddy.

Sera returned to her room while Banu’s domestic workers calmed her down. Sera remembers how, when she was engaged to Feroz, her own mother, Jehroo Sethna, had run into one of Sera’s old teachers, who had expressed reservations about the Dubash family. The old teacher had heard some unsavory things about Banu. Sera had brushed off these concerns. Freddy brings Sera breakfast an hour later, apologizing for his wife. Cooped up in her room, Sera regrets giving up her job after marriage at Feroz’s insistence.

Banu complained about Sera to Feroz when he returned home that evening. Instead of defending his wife, Feroz appeased Banu and asked Sera to stay out of her way. Sera joined Banu in the kitchen four days later, but she had not yet washed her hair. Banu was furious that Sera has polluted the kitchen, and slapped her. Banu denied having done so, accusing Sera of lying. After Banu left for the fire temple later that day, Freddy invited Sera to listen to classical music with him in the living room. He tearfully apologized to her for not having warned her about Banu and Feroz, as he liked Sera from the moment he met her—she, too, comes from a cultured family like him, and is also a fellow classical music lover. When Sera asked what he meant about Feroz, Freddy revealed that his son had a temper like Banu. Feroz was once engaged to a woman named Gulnaz, who broke it off after experiencing Feroz’s temper and hearing stories about Banu.

Sera asked Feroz about Gulnaz when they were out at dinner together alone. Feroz became defensive and insisted it was not her business. Sera was unable to express the conflicting emotions rising within her and told Feroz she loves him. He responded with affection, but Sera felt a sense of self-betrayal at not having said more.

As is customary on Saturday mornings, Viraf gives Bhima a lift to the vegetable market on his way to a cricket game. He enquires about Maya, promising to get a recommendation from a friend about a doctor. Bhima feels a wave of anger, particularly because Viraf is having a child, soon. She contemplates how all her loved ones—Gopal, Amit, Pooja, and Raju—eventually left her, either deliberately or snatched by death. She feels ashamed for envying Dinaz her good fortune, as Dinaz has always been loving and kind toward Bhima.

Viraf drops Bhima off, and she waits for Rajeev, who helps her with carrying and delivering the groceries at the market. As Bhima shops, she sees Parvati, an old woman who sells just six shriveled cauliflowers every day. Bhima wonders how Parvati survives on this, recalling an old Pathan man (somebody of Pashtun ancestry) from Afghanistan who used to sell balloon animals at the seaside. She used to see this balloon seller when she and Gopal took the young children to the seaside. Bhima always wondered how he made a living selling balloons, or why he left home, but she never asked. After the day’s shopping, Bhima uncharacteristically buys Rajeev and herself a cup of tea and a snack before they head home. Rajeev is delighted, and chattier than usual on the way home, but Bhima is withdrawn and gets lost in thought.